Chapter One of Blue Goat
What is the real goal?
When you think about your life, what is it that you hope for?
Most people you ask want enough money so they can do and have what they want, to work in a great job, to feel successful, and live with a sense of purpose. Yet it seems like everyone else can achieve those things rather than it happening to us.
Your neighbor has the brand-new car in the driveway, your co-worker gets the promotion and raise you were wanting, your sister seems to have the perfect marriage, you see pictures on Facebook of your high school friend living it up on their trip to Europe, and a stranger buys the dream home you are always doing virtual tours of on Zillow.
It seems like so many others are “living the dream” and enjoying everything that life has to offer.
That just isn’t what is really going on.
Each day I spend hours and hours talking with people. From the girl starting her career in marketing, to the young couple preparing the nursery for their first baby. The parents who are trying so hard to help pay for their child’s college, to the retirees doing their best to navigate the golden years of life. I’ve spent the better part of the last decade talking with people and helping them with their finances.
As an advisor, I’ve been given the opportunity to see what so many others haven’t.
They’ve let me see behind the curtain. Your co-worker told me things they would never want anyone else to know. The “successful couple” opened the door to show me the skeletons in their closet.
They’ve given me the unedited picture of what is really happening in their lives. I know the truth of what is going on with the people you spend time with and compare yourself to.
You only get to see the fresh, warm, golden brown chicken nugget.
I’ve been given the tour and shown what actually goes into it.
It’s not what you think.
The life everyone wants you to see is not the one they are really living. You compare yourself to the delicious chicken nugget, but don’t see how much stress, disappointment, frustration, time, energy, and fake stuff goes into making it. Regardless of how many zeroes are in their account, the issues are almost always the same.
What I’ve seen, heard, and experienced has changed my perspective on everything I thought I knew.
I’ve found that the lives that so many people live are far removed from what they really expect or want for themselves. Most people miss out on the life they could have, to live the life they think they are supposed to.
Our time is spent focused on keeping up with everyone else rather than focusing on what we want for ourselves. We are so consumed with whether the grass is greener everywhere else that we rarely pay attention to our own yard.
We are unfulfilled, more stressed, overwhelmed, and more worried than we ever want anyone else to know.
We have less love, joy, happiness, freedom, and less of the life we want. There has never been more opportunity, resources, technology, research, and ways to find ourselves, but we barely know who we are.
Yet we are all in the same place.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked “Am I the only one who is this stressed out?”, “Are we the only ones who think parenting is hard as hell?”, “Am I the only one who feels like I don’t have it all together?”, “Are we the only ones who feel like we can’t keep up with everyone else?”, “Does everyone else know what they are doing and I’m the only one who is trying to figure it all out?”. When you hear these questions day after day, month after month, and year after year, it isn’t a coincidence.
We assume that everyone else is living the amazing life we can only dream of. Even worse, so many are giving up who they are and what really matters for all the wrong reasons. Not knowing that the people they compare themselves to are worrying and struggling to keep up with everyone else too. As a result, so many of us step into the great rat race, the never-ending cycle of trying to keep up with everyone else. Worrying if we are enough and have enough.
This isn’t just about money; it is about how we look at our lives and the choices we make.
If you sat in the meetings and heard what I heard, your life might be different. You might look at your life through a different lens and with a new perspective. It’s time you see what others are doing so you can stop worrying about everyone else and start focusing on yourself. It is time to begin a new conversation. With ourselves and with others. Not about what we want everyone else to think about us, what we hope they say, or what we hope they see us as.
It is time to remove the fancy wrapping, fake lighting, the smoke and mirrors.
To stop living based on what you think you are supposed to do, and show up as yourself.
To feel so grateful to be you, that you no longer want to be anyone else.
Blue Goat is a new perspective that was born out of the truth of what is happening in the lives of so many. It is about taking the real struggles that we face and seeing if there is a better way. About choosing to examine who we are to see if there is more to life and challenging others to do the same. What follows is my new view of the world based on what I’ve been told over the years.
Each chapter represents an issue, topic, or aspect of life that so many appear to be working through.
Blue Goat is about looking deeper to see what really matters. Not what you think matters to everyone else, but what matters to you.
To get back the real version of you that may have been lost along the road to where you are now.
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