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When Does the Magic Happen?

January 6, 2018

I wanted to share some goodness this weekend and share a guest blog that I wrote for The Bold Thing.

When does the light finally come on and the good stuff start flowing? For me, I wanted it to come.

I felt like I was in a position to be the person I wanted to be. I felt like I was making decisions that were in line with who I felt I was.

 

Yet…nothing.

 

I felt like I was looking up into the water spout waiting for the water to come. It was dry. No water, no goodness came out. I couldn’t figure out why. With a blank piece of paper in front of me I waited, still nothing.

Then I realized what was going on. I was still holding on. Grasping at those parts of me that were in place because I felt like I was “supposed” to be doing certain things. There were people I was giving my time and energy to out of obligation. I was acting too often like the version of myself I felt like I should. I wasn’t me.

 

Well, I was me, but not the 100% unfiltered version of myself. I wasn’t able and willing to stand on stage in front of the entire world and be Court. I was still holding back because that fear of what it could mean to be myself. So, I kept that small buffer in place for protection. If things didn’t work out, if I failed, if people laughed, or didn’t like whatever it was I did, I still had that feeling in the back of my mind that there was something to fall back on.

 

Then I finally realized this wasn’t me either. I didn’t want to be a version of me. I wanted to be me. 100% of the time. The unfiltered, unapologetic, shout it from the rooftops version of myself.

 

I stopped giving my time to others that didn’t deserve it. I put the focus on what I wanted to do with my energy and emotion. I finally started to only listen to what I was hearing from my inner voice, rather than all the voices from the world around me. I tuned out society, media, friends, and everyone else, and for the first time listened to the person that really matters: me.

 

Then it happened. In twelve days, I wrote the book I’ve always wanted to write. I was free. The spout didn’t turn on, the tidal wave came. It was almost overwhelming.

In stepping into the most authentic version of myself, I finally became the exact person I wanted to be.

 

I became me.

 

Too often we want it both ways. We want the magic, but hold onto everything else because of the fear associated with what that might actually mean. The real good stuff comes from stepping into the spotlight. Being unapologetic about who that person is. You will be amazed at who and what shows up when you become that person.

 

We want the world around us somehow to change or be impacted by us just showing up. The real beauty and impact of who you are will change the world when you finally step into being the 100 percent real you.

 

Share those gifts. Be that you. Change the world.

 

That’s when you go from being a drop in the ocean to feeling like you are the entire ocean in a drop.

 

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